Daddy Dan

Kangaroo Farts Could Ease Global Warming

Australian scientists are trying to give kangaroo-style stomachs to cattle and sheep in a bid to cut the emission of greenhouse gases blamed for global warming, researchers say.

Thanks to special bacteria in their stomachs, kangaroo flatulence contains no methane and scientists want to transfer that bacteria to cattle and sheep who emit large quantities of the harmful gas.

The poor kangaroos may be in for some future troubles, despite their methane-less farts:

Another group of scientists, meanwhile, has suggested Australians should farm fewer cattle and sheep and just eat more kangaroos. The idea is controversial, but about 20 per cent of health-conscious Australians are believed to eat the national symbol already.

Woman Defends Christmas Decorations by Shooting Two Men

Authorities say a Springfield, LA woman was booked on attempted murder counts for allegedly shooting two men whose dog damaged Christmas decorations at her home. Ethel Shannon McKinney, 28, was booked on two counts of attempted second-degree murder and illegal use of a weapon, Jason Ard, a spokesman for the Livingston Parish Sheriff’s Department, said.

McKinney and her boyfriend got into an argument with the men over the damaged decorations, and McKinney allegedly fired at the men, Ard said. One man was hit in the upper torso and arm; the other, in an arm. Ard said none of the injuries were life threatening.

I wouldn’t want it to come to this, but I would lay down my life to protect my 300-light snowman and the three cute penguins we have on our front lawn, so be warned.

Danger: Avoid Death

That warning was selected Wednesday as the winner of the 11th annual “Wacky Warning Label Contest,” sponsored by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch. The contest is part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels.

Kevin Soave of Farmington Hills, a Detroit suburb, won the $500 grand prize for submitting the tractor’s “Danger: Avoid Death” label.

This story got me to thinking about all of the other dumb warning labels we see every day. I found a list of dumb warning labels on Listology.com, including:

• “For external use only!” — On a curling iron.
• “Do not drive with sunshield in place.” — On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
• “May irritate eyes.” — On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
• “Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.” — On a portable stroller.
• “For indoor or outdoor use only.” — On a string of Christmas lights.

That’s all I have for this week. Not a lot of weird things going on, unless you count Al Gore getting a Nobel Prize or Mike Huckabee leading the polls for the Republican nomination.

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