Today I debut the latest feature at Daddy Dan. It’s called “Ask The Bloggers.” I’ve asked many of my favorite bloggers to join the panel, and I’m very pleased that many of them have agreed.
Each week I’ll be sending the panel a single question and providing their responses here. The series will cover a wide range of questions, from the serious to the autobiographical to the silly. If you have a question you’d like to see answered here, please contact me by e-mail by clicking on ‘Contact Me’ in the header or by leaving a comment. The more creative the question, the more likely I’ll use it.
The inaugural question is this:
If you were elected President of the United States, what would be your first act after being sworn into office?
The Bloggess:
I would have that bitchy chick in my office who said my shoes didn’t match my dress killed by the secret service. Except that now that I think about it if I was President I wouldn’t work here anymore so I guess instead I’d just wish for World Peace. You get wishes when you’re President, right?
On second thought, I’d have that shoe nazi killed for the good of the rest of the department even though I wouldn’t benefit from it because that’s the kind of generous president I am. And world peace. And free taffy for everyone. That’s technically three things but I put it all in one bill so that it would all pass at the same time. Congress might not like sanctioning murder of the shoe nazi but they’re not likely to veto a bill that’s all about world peace and free taffy. You’re welcome.
Black Hockey Jesus at The Wind In Your Vagina:
I would order a bunch of business cards that said “Black Hockey Jesus, President”.
Then I would make a secret service guy get me a sandwich.
Maria at Immoral Matriarch:
I would not want to be the President of The United States, under these current circumstances especially. Whomever is elected, I believe, will ultimately be considered a failure, because the state of our nation is so very bad. I am hoping to be proven wrong of course, but I just don’t see four years, or even eight, being enough to right all the wrongs we see around us. But - if I was elected, my first act would be to paint the white house a different color. Wha’? I can’t do that? Seriously? I’m the fucking president! Why the hell can’t I?
Vegas Dad at iVegasFamily:
That’s a tough question. I can either go the serious route or the imaginative.
I would never, ever want the job as President. Frankly, it doesn’t pay enough for all of the stress that comes with the job. The president’s salary is actually quite low, but there are perks. You get to use a cool airplane and live in a big white house at taxpayer’s expense. You also get to hire a bunch of staff and throw big parties. But on the serious side, I’d probably install some giant solar panels on top of the big white house and perhaps put some wind turbines on the lawn and in the rose garden. Somebody’s got to set an example.
Matt at DC Urban Dad:
Man, you started out with a tough one. I think I am a bit like Maria. Who the hell wants that job? Look I already get no sleep and the gray hairs have started coming in. And at least my kid laughs at me and smiles and generally loves me. As President you are constantly beat down on. And for what….a library and a book deal? Nah, I will pass.
But if I was in office my first act would be to get us out of Iraq. We gotta get out of there and focus on repairing our international street cred.
Jenn at Free and Flawed:
Wow. Way to start off with a tough question!
What wouldn’t I do?! My expectations are pretty unrealistic. I’d try balancing running through the White House naked with figuring out an exit plan from Iraq, solving the economy crisis, the Cubs winning a world series, alternative energy solutions and okay’ing same-sex marriage. But seeing how I’d never be elected president, I’m going to stick with running through the White House naked.
Dr. Heather at Baby Shrink:
My first act would be to give up the presidency and become the VP, since that office has way more power these days.
On day One, I’d resolve the fiscal crisis, create an energy solution, AND instill lasting peace in the world.
After a nap, I’d get serious and tackle my Child and Family Health Agenda, instituting the following executive benefits for all American families:
- High-quality prenatal health care, including family planning, infertility treatment, and prenatal genetics testing available to all expectant parents;
- Comprehensive maternity and paternity benefits, allowing one parent (Mom OR Dad) to care for baby until public, high-quality preschool kicks in at age 3;
- The preservation of their job for the parent who stays home with the baby, plus continued affordable, comprehensive health-insurance for the family;
- Early Developmental Screening and Intervention as part of routine “well-baby”checks for all babies and toddlers, with the full spectrum of intervention available to all families
- Developmentally-centered and informed educational policies guiding public school curriculum, as is done successfully in many European countries — (ie. get rid of No Child Left Behind)
Is this agenda expensive? Not nearly as expensive as it is now, as we instead focus on remedial programs for struggling youth, the enforcement of drug laws and the prison system, as well as a “healthcare” system that is reactive, not preventative.
I’d love to hear what others think!
Katie at K Squared:
What a great question 
Thanks again for doing this!
My first act would be taking on the healthcare crisis. It is crucial that this problem is fixed. We have millions of uninsured Americans and we have people filing bankruptcy daily because of medical bills. I know all too well what it’s like to get bill after bill in the mail- and I have insurance. I can’t imagine how those who don’t have insurance handle it. We have extremely high cancer rates, the highest obesity rate ever - including childhood obesity, so many other medical problems, and no insurance program available to every single American - that is what we need. I would make sure that insurance companies cover pre-existing conditions and allow all preventative care to be covered as well.
Surfer Jay at I Have To Wipe His What?:
I would do two things simultaneously. Give tax breaks to toy companies that manufacture their products in the United States. And give Monica Lewinsky her old job back. Simultaneously…
Shawn at Backpacking Dad:
My first act would be to write an Executive Order recognizing the sovereignty of all Indian nations.
Can I do that? I mean, maybe my answer should be “the power of flight” or “invisibility” or something. Did you ask about superpowers? How about: I would figure out where that wall is and let all the people who were first up against it when the revolution came go back home to play with their kids.
Michelle at Michelle and The City:
If I were elected president (first of all, shout out to the 1st female president of the United States!), I would make it my priority to make sure that every child in this country had free health care. On a non-serious note, I would also make sure that every citizen of this country had an iPod (with mp3s and all). Because really, how can one live without music?
Jeremy at Discovering Dad:
If I was elected President of the United States, my first act would be to establish a tax credit for dads who pay their child support on time every month. Deadbeat dads are a drain on society, as fatherless children are much more likely to be without proper insurance, more likely to commit a crime and less likely to do well in school. As a result, everyone else in society has to pick up the tab.
It would be cheaper for the government to offer incentives for dads (and moms who are ordered to pay) to comply with court ordered child support than to continue to accept deadbeats. I’m sure there are many other more grandiose things that I’d like to do as President, but being a dad who has religiously paid child support and more for 10+ years, this is something close to my heart. If I got a tax credit for paying my child support on time, I would reinvest the money in my daughter’s college fund, so maybe the incentive is conditional on something like that too.
Mike at Unraveling Life’s Mysteries:
My first act as President of the United States would be to eliminate all reality shows on television, now…
However, there would be one exception: the highly intellectual, visually stimulating, extremely sophisticated young women of “The Girls next Door.”
No seriously…
