Posts Tagged Parenting

Lies!

The Babito has not reached that phase where children begin to lie about things (unless you count his responses to being asked if he’s tired or has to go pee pee). In fact, he’s brutally honest when you ask him questions.

For example, if he breaks something or makes a mess he’ll freely admit to doing it.

I truly think children are born innocent and honest, it’s their environment that turns them into little liars. I think it’s actually a sign of intelligence for a child to learn to lie, especially as a sign of self-protection.

Of course, I don’t advocate children to lie, but they really don’t know any better. It is our job as parents to teach them it’s wrong.

How do we do that?

First, we have to set a good example for our kids by always being honest with them. Your children, especially young children, truly emulate what you do and how you act.

Secondly, you have to encourage truthful responses. You have to control your temper when your child does something wrong and admits to it. Eventually a child will learn to lie (if he’s smart) if you respond in anger. Take that time to thank them for telling the truth and calmly explain why their action or behavior was wrong. I know – it’s harder to do than it sounds.

It’s easier when they’re toddlers when they are in a more controlled environment. No doubt they will be exposed to many little fibbers when they start school. That’s when you’ll have to hope that your positive reinforcements about being honest and truthful will win out.

Have you had issues with your kids lying? How did you deal with it?

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Forty

Turning 40 is a time for reflection, and I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately. Turning 40 is a mid-point in your life (if you are lucky), and I look at it as a fresh start. I definitely don’t FEEL like the old man I am.

My wife had a wonderful party for me at the house. The house was filled with family and friends, and I felt blessed to have so many people that cared about me.

My wife made a slideshow with pictures of me throughout my first 40 years. It was great to relive so many memories, but it was also sad to see so many people in the slideshow that have passed away (my Grandpa. Grandma, Great Uncle) and so many friends that I’ve lost touch with through the years. I kind of hid behind a pillar while we all watched it, trying to hold back a few tears. Time really does go by so fast, and it reminds me to truly cherish each day that I have left and to enjoy every moment with those I love.

I’m blessed to have a wonderful, beautiful wife. I’m blessed to have a beautiful, amazing little boy.

My duty-my destiny-from here on out is to give them the best life I possibly can, so on Babito’s 40th birthday he can gather with family and friends to watch a slideshow of his life and have the same wonderful feelings I did while watching mine. And I pray that my wife and I will be there to enjoy it with him.

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He’s Just Tired

For the thirty-six childless years of my life I’d heard the following phrase whenever a small child was being a brat:

“He’s/She’s just tired.”

And for thirty-six years I would think to myself “Yeah right! What a lame excuse! Your kid is just a spoiled brat and you just haven’t done a very good job in raising the little snot.”

I want to offer all of those parents a sincere and public apology. The so-called lame excuse is a fact. Even the best of kids turn into raging, whiny, bratty demons when they’re beyond the need for sleep.

Babito is a prime example. He’s a compassionate, sensitive, loving toddler when he’s well rested, but miss his nap or bed time and he becomes a very young juvenile deliquent. He does exactly the opposite of what you tell him to do and the smallest incident can lead to a big tantrum.

Scary thought: I’ve heard many parents farther along the parenting road than us warn me that the terrible twos are not the worst year, that the threes are much worse.

I’m hoping that Babito is just advanced for his age.

Tiredness leads to constant testing by the Babito. When he’s tired he loves to see what he can get away with and how we will react. And what’s worse about this time is that it’s usually when we’re tired too after a long day of work.

We try to remain consistent and calm with our discipline, and for the most part I think we’ve done a pretty good job of it, but i can’t deny that it can get exasperating at times.

So all of you out there without kids, please take it from me: “He’s just tired” is a very accurate and honest statement. I don’t have to tell you parents – you already know. And once again, I offer my apologies.

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Taking Off

Every day on my way to the train station I see planes taking off from the Ontario Airport. I always wonder where the people on the plane are headed, and it makes me wish I was on that plane headed for a vacation too.

My wife and I haven’t been on a vacation away from The Babito since he’s been born. In fact, he’s never spent the night away from at least one of us in his entire life.

It’s not that we don’t have plenty of people ready and willing to watch him for a few days (especially since he’s potty-trained now). We just haven’t built up the will to be away from him for an extended period. I know it would be hard on us. We rarely even leave him for an evening out.

But one-on-one time is needed in a marriage, and we’re overdue. I think we’ll have to start small, maybe a trip up to San Francisco for the weekend or a quick trip to Vegas would be nice. We’re heading to San Diego this weekend but The Babito is going with us. It’ll be his first trip to the zoo.

I’ve started talking to Babito about how fun it would be to spend the night at Papa and Nana’s house. He has always said “No, I want to spend the night with Mommy and Daddy!”, but tonight he said yes, that it would be fun to stay at Papa and Nana’s. I think that’s our cue.

Someday soon, I hope some poor guy on his way to work is looking up at a plane taking off, with my wife and I in it, wishing it was him.

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