Nov
13
2008
2

Wednesday Spotlight: Great Blog Posts From Around the Internet (Version 11)

I’ve been remiss in not sharing my favorite blog posts for the past few weeks.  Here’s some posts you SHOULD.NOT.MISS!

“Madeline” (by Heather from The Spohrs are Multiplying) - Heather’s birthday post to her miracle baby Maddie is a love letter that will bring tears to your eyes.  Happy Birthday Maddie!

“I’m not even sure why we *have* katanas anymore” (by The Bloggess) - This post is indescribable, but it includes a gigantic snake, flashing a neighbor, gymnastics, and coin tossing.  It is probably the funniest post I’ve read in months.  Don’t miss it.

“Laughing at my pregnant wife” (by Dorky Dad) - Dorky Dad is either an amazingly brave or astonishingly crazy husband.  I wonder if he slept on the couch the day he posted this.  He may already be on the couch, since there doesn’t sound like there’s much room in the bed these days!  Just kidding, Mrs. Dorky Dad!

“Taps” (by Tia at Clever Girl Goes Blog) - On Veterans Day, Tia remembers her deceased grandfather.

“Black Hockey Jesus Made Me Sign Up The Bloggess For The Gary Busey Fan Club, Part 2″ (by The Bean) - Another indescribable but hilarious post.  I can’t remember how I came upon BHJ, The Bloggess, and The Bean, but I’m so happy I did.

Nov
11
2008
4

Ask The Bloggers: Week 5 - Best Prank

This week I’ve asked our panel of bloggers to share their best prank.  I’m not sure if it was just a lame question or if people didn’t feel like sending in a prank to a guy that just lost his grandmother.  Anyway, I did get a handful of good pranks, so here they are.

The exact question was:

What advice would you give to someone that is just starting a blog?

Here’s the responses:

Jenny from The Bloggess:

I convinced the entire blogosphere that I’m actually a girl and not in jail.

It’s kind of awesome.

Maya from Gemini Girl:

I’m glad you asked!

I had a pretty tough pregnancy, that resulted in hospital bed rest for 6 weeks. My twins were born prematurely and stayed in the NICU for a month and a half. My husband was quite the trooper, always going above and beyond to do anything for me. After two months of being home with our non-sleeping twins, we were zombies. We literally wanted to just run away. I thought it would be funny to prank him, to lighten up the mood.

I decided to tell him I was pregnant again- you know, as a joke.

His eyes almost rolled back inside is head.. but said “That’s cool, we’ll get through it”.

Not quite the reaction I was hoping for, but good to know he was up for the challenge!!

Chanel from CHNL:

I love playing pranks on people. Unfortunately, I am absolutely awful at it due to the tragic fact that I can’t keep a straight face to save my life. Seriously. This one time, two of my friends dumped half a teaspoon of garlic powder in my best friend’s Stroganoff while she was in the washroom, and I started laughing before she even started eating it. Fail.

Aside from that prank, I can’t really remember the last prank that I played or had played on me (I’m not much fun, really) … But one prank I absolutely love was this dead bird one I saw on a TV show once. Here’s how it goes:

There is a magician, an enclosed table where he does his tricks on, and an audience from which he calls volunteers. In this particular trick, he has a live bird on the table. He places his magician’s hat over the bird, waves his wand, and smashes his hand down on the hat, caving it in. The audience gasps. Then, he waves his wand over the hat, lifts it up, and the bird is under there, perfectly alive. The audience marvels - no bird could ordinarily survive that.

Next, he calls for a volunteer from the audience, just to prove that there isn’t anything “fishy” going on. He gets the volunteer to place the hat over the bird, waves his wand, and gets the volunteer to smash their hand down on the hat. But this time, something goes wrong - you hear this awful squawk and features poof out from under the hat. The magician quickly lifts the hat, only to find a dead bird. The camera pans to the volunteer’s face, and the expression on it is PRICELESS. They’re completely and utterly horror-struck.

(As it turns out, there was a trap door on the table, and someone under it to replace the live bird with a fake dead one.)

They played this prank over and over again with different audiences, and I laughed like crazy every time. Awful? Maybe. But it was funny as hell.

Jeremy from Discovering Dad:

When I was in the Coast Guard Academy, we completely disassembled a sailboat in the middle of the night and carried it to the quad where assembly was held each morning.  We reassembled the boat in the middle of where everyone lined up.
It scored us some good points among my classmates, but we did have to own up to it and take it back.  After a week of marching around the quad as punishment, you would think we learned our lesson…  Two weeks later, we pushed an upperclassman’s car into the quad to top the sail boat stunt.
We had a great time there playing pranks and jokes on people - it helped make the regimented life more fun and exciting.

Daddy Dan:

Me and my friends were constantly playing pranks on people.  It was a way of life.  The one I remember the most was a detailed and convoluted prank that we played on my best friend Greg’s younger brother.  I was about 16 or 17 at the time and the guy we pranked was about 14.

We made up this story about a crazy homeless guy that lived up in this desolate, hilly area.  We told him that people went up to this area and left food out in the middle of the street and the crazy homeless guy would run in from the brush and grab the food.

Late one night, a few friends of ours, one dressed as a homeless guy, waited up in the area for us to arrive.  About four of us took the victim up and his brother got out of the car to put the food in the street.  At that moment the crazy homeless guy (who by the way was 6′8″ tall) ran out and chased my friend into the brush and down a hill.

We all freaked out and the driver said “I’m out of here, Greg’s on his own.  We drove off and his younger brother was pleading with us to go back.  The line he still gets teased about is “You guys may not care about my brother, but I do!”  We had him in tears.

We finally went back and let him in on the joke, but he didn’t like it.  He didn’t talk to any of us for weeks.

Oct
26
2008
12

Ask The Bloggers: Week 3 - Ghost Stories

For Week 3 I went with the Halloween theme.  Don’t read these stories if you’re home alone at night right now!  And I even participated, although my story doesn’t match any of these.

This week’s question: (and please share your favorite story in the comments!!!

What is your favorite Halloween/ghost/paranormal story?

Avill from Meville:

The details of this true story are too long and way too scary for me to write about if I want to sleep tonight! So here’s the short version…

While sleeping over at my house (during high school), my friend who could “see and sense” such things claims to have seen a being loom over us while we slept. She said his energy woke her up and she was so scared that she tried to wake me up - to no avail, I wouldn’t budge. The being disappeared when she tried to wake me up. The next morning, I thought she was crazy as she described the details of the visit and because I’m such a chicken shit about these things (in fact I probably won’t even read the other entries this week), I chose to lock it all away in my “don’t want/need to know that” compartment in my cabeza. i was happy in the knowledge that I would soon be moving away for college.

Flash forward a month…I live in my new apartment with the same friend (was I crazy?) in our new college town. My mom tells me on the phone that my sister who was visiting from college saw a being in the room as she slept and that he disappeared into the wall when she sat up. The description of said being matched my friend’s EXACTLY! And BTW, I never mentioned my friend’s sighting to anyone nor had my sister ever met my friend at that point.

Yeah…sweet dreams.

Black Hockey Jesus from The Wind in Your Vagina:

My first reaction to this question was an image of Drew Barrymore in Firestarter. Can you imagine? How awesome would it be if your mind lit shit on fire every time you got pissed? Some people want to fly or be invisible. I want to light things on fire with my mind. If we were in a battle, it wouldn’t do you any good to fly or be invisible if I could light you on fire with my mind. O look. A flying guy on fire! And even if you could gather the flames into your invisibility and I couldn’t see you, you’d still be on invisible fire. I don’t care if it’s regular fire or invisible fire. I still win.

Sandy from Momisodes:

To my chagrin, my only ghost/ paranormal story happened in my 70-year old home. Seven days after we moved in, my husband and I headed upstairs to get ready for bed. As hubby brushed his teeth, I turned on our bedroom TV and muted the sound so it wouldn’t wake our 2-year old. I then went to brush my teeth with hubby when…<BANG! > Hubby and I both heard the noise downstairs and stood frozen, waiting for more noise to follow. <Silence> We tiptoed gingerly downstairs to assess the rooms. Living room, nothing. Kitchen, nothing, Dining room…uh, who opened the window? No one went into that room all week (the room was vacant).

Moments after we came downstairs, the muted TV upstairs suddenly began blasting audio! For 8-10 seconds the TV blared at full volume, then it abruptly cut off to being inaudible. The remote control was sitting beside the TV, nowhere near anyone.

Oh, and did I mention my daughter kept saying she saw “ghostses” that week? I’m just glad we didn’t find her sitting in bed with her head spinning and spewing green goo.

Katelin from Gorgeous Footsteps in The Sand:

Well I guess it’s time to call myself out, I’m a huge wuss, wuss I say. And somehow my best friend convinced me to go to Knott’s Scary Farm with her our junior year of high school, how I do not know. Once we were there my nerves were on edge all night and I’m pretty sure I lost years of my life just from being so afraid.

The most hilarious (I can laugh about it now) moment of the night had to be when we were waiting in line for a haunted house and I turned around to talk to my friend and this giant goulish thing was behind me instead….so yeah I screamed and bolted down the line to get away as my friends stood there laughing at me. Yeah I haven’t been back since, haha.

Matt from DC Urban Dad:

My family grew up in an old Victorian home from the late 1800’s.  It not only had a creepy basement but an even creepier attic - both smelled a little like death.  You never wanted to get locked in either.

The rumor was that the caretaker for the women who had lived there had actually died in the attic but that she still roamed the halls at night.

I actually never believed it until I was all alone one night.  I was in high school and it was after practice.  I was taking a shower and just started to wash my hair when out of nowhere I heard my name called out.  Not once, not twice, but 3 times - clear as day.

I hopped out of the shower (sans towel), grabbed my baseball bat and walked out into the hallway.  I called out, but no one answered.  I actually never saw her or heard my name being called out, but continued every night to hear movement - foot steps coming from the ceiling.  Good times.

Sarah from Sensibly Sassy:

I have been obsessed with ghostly occurrences for a long time. I love getting creepy movies or watching “America’s Most Haunted” on the travel channel. There is just something so fascinating about the paranormal. My favorite creepy story took place in high school when me and four of my friends were bored on a Friday night.

There is an old abandoned house at the end of a stretch of suburbia in our city. We decided to take a drive out to this house just to nose around for a bit. We drove up to the house. The lights were out and a chain link fence kept us from getting closer. We drove past slowly looking for any sign of the after life and didn’t see a thing.

It was when we made a u-turn and drove past the house again that a man dressed in an old white night gown stood in the middle of the street with his hand out stretched towards our car. His mouth gaped open and his face was as pale as his bed clothes. My friend swerved and drove as fast as she could. It was when we looked behind us and didn’t see him that we became truly frightened.

Jenn from Free and Flawed and Must Love Geek:

My favorite ghost story is that of Resurrection Mary (one of Chicago’s most famous ghosts!) Decades ago a woman went to a dance with her boyfriend. Afterward they got into a fight and she began to walk home. Along Archer Avenue, she was struck and killed by a motorist. Ever since then people have claimed to see a woman walking along Archer Avenue between Resurrection Cemetery and the ballroom. She vanishes before they can reach her.

Once a man met a woman at a dance. He danced with her all evening. Looking back on that night he remembered her skin was cold to the touch. He offered to take her home. She requested that they drive down Archer Avenue. As they got closer to the cemetery, she began to act strange. She had him pull over and she got out. She began running toward the cemetery gates. Before he could catch up to her, she was gone. Later this man met another woman who’s daughter had passed away. After showing him a picture, he recognized her as the girl he danced with.

In addition to that, another driver saw a girl who appeared to be stuck behind the cemetery gates. He called the police to report it. When the police arrived, the girl was no where to be found, but the bronze gates had hand prints scorched into them and the bars were pulled apart.

Dr. Heather from Baby Shrink:

Our 7-year-old is getting a real kick out of scaring us these days. She’s usually sort of a scaredy-cat; frightened of tiny things that make her younger brothers laugh hysterically. But lately she’s getting the hang of this “scaring grown-ups just for the fun of it” thing, trying to find exactly what it is that WILL scare me.

My Dad was a pathologist. That means I grew up in a hospital laboratory, surrounded by various body parts in buckets. Needless to say, I don’t scare easily. The gross stuff just bounces off me. So the typical Halloween fare of “eyeballs mixed in with brains” gags doesn’t quite get to me. What does get to me? BUGS. Not your usual little cutesy bugs, but big honkin’ Hawaiian monster bugs.

Enter 7-year-old daughter, last night. She simply walks up to me, and says, “Here, Mommy.” She hands me something….simply opens her hand….and reveals a giant plastic cricket.

Yikes! The thing looked so real, and it was such a surprise…needless to say, I think my little girl has found a way to scare the bejeesus out of her unflappable mom.

Aloha and Happy Halloween!

Terri from Terri Terri Quite Contrary:

My favorite Halloween story happened in 2007. My best friend cooked up this idea to get a group of us dressed up in theme and go out for a fun evening the weekend before Halloween. There were three couples and she had a GREAT idea. We were going to go as Charlie’s Angels. The girls were to be the new and improved Angels. The guys were to be the seventies version of the Charlie’s Angels.

We spent an entire day shopping for just the right attire for ourselves and nearly peed our pants finding women’s clothing to outfit our guys. Luckily we found a store that carried retro style clothing and had a plus size section to boot. We were nearly screeching with laughter as we picked out coordinating blouses and pants for the guys. The girls working at the store were begging us to return afterwards with pictures of all of us all dressed up.

We finally got our costumes completely coordinated. I have to say, our hubbies were more than good sports about their costumes. They even let us put makeup and wigs on them. On the big night, we ended up at a friendly little bar where a costume contest was being held. We girls thought we did a pretty good job of pulling off something resembling the new Angels, but the guys stole the show. Other men were “hitting on” them all night long. Not a single person passed by our group without doing a double take and doubling over in laughter after a closer look at the “old” Angels. When it was time for the prizes to be awarded, our ugly Angels had taken third place while the new Angels left with nothing!

Katie from K Squared:

My birthday is the day before Halloween, so there’s always something going on around that time. When I turned 20 my friends thought it would be funny for me to dress up as Cher and use a fake ID to get into the bar..and of course, with a huge ugly black wig and hideous, extra long polyester pants, it’s not hard for that to fly. After the bar we walked downtown to a couple parties, and realized that the streets were much quieter than they should be for Halloween night..and that a couple streetlights were out. A group of us was walking along near the curb getting ready to turn the corner when out of nowhere this little dog comes charging down the street.

We all stopped and looked around in the eerie darkness. Up ahead my friend was already screaming and running. Apparently the dog did not like her and continue to chase and scare the crap out of her. Before we could catch up, she tripped and flew up onto the curb face first and rolled…and the dog was yipping like you’ve never heard. She was frantically screaming and all we could see were her and the dog flapping around until finally the dog tore out of there like a bat outta hell. When she got up, her farmer’s outfit was a mess - her hair was disheveled and there were grass stains on her pants! From a little dog! It was like someone turned him loose to scare someone.

My friend is actually an animal person, but something about this dog barreling after her sent her into a huge panic. It was hilarious to watch but she will never live it down!

Amanda from Cusp of Normal

Last night I was looking forward to curling up on the couch with a David Sedaris book and eager to get cozy in my jammies and slippers. I saw one of my pink fuzzy slippers sitting in the hall between the bathroom and kitchen, but its mate was no where in sight. I found this to be rather odd, as I usually take off both slippers together, rather than taking one off… walking through the apartment before abandoning the other.

I searched for that lone slipper for several minutes before enlisting the help of the boyfriend, who helped me turn the apartment upside down. We were on a mission to find that damn thing. I was Cinderella. And my feet were cold.

Boyfriend, in the midst of cooking up a delicious dinner, had to forfeit the search because his water had come to a boil on the stove. After looking under every piece of furniture and in every conceivable hiding spot, I finally gave up. Had I accidentally thrown it away? What the duce?

This morning, I awoke from my slumber to get ready for work. Still wiping the sleep from my eyes as I stepped into the shower, I was in deep thought. “Don’t forget your leftover portobello ravioli awaiting you in the fridge,” I cautioned myself. “Even if it makes you a little gassy, it would make for a delicious lunch,” the voice in my head continued.

It was after the shower that I saw it. Both of my slippers, lying together in a pair as though nothing had ever happened. “Oh, I guess boyfriend found my slipper?” my inner monologue rang. “But when? How? I don’t understand!”

I ran to snoozing boyfriend, and gently awoke him. (Read:: shook him violently as though I had said “And this is what it would feel like to die in an earthquake!”)

“HEY!” I excitedly hollered. “DID YOU FIND MY SLIPPER???”

Boyfriend gasped and quickly lifted his head, frightened.

“DID YOU FIND MY SLIPPER???”

“Huh? No!” Boyfriend was startled. But not as startled as I was.

“You didn’t!? Really!? OMG! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! THAT’S CREEPY!” I was stunned, I didn’t know what to do except hit groggy boyfriend over the head with my pillow several times as I screamed in horror.

As I finished getting ready for work, I kept my eye on the haunted slipper in fear that any remaining ghost particles might attack me–possibly when my mascara wand was uncomfortably close to my retina.

Before I left to catch my bus, I cautiously picked up the slipper with my thumb and index finger. I looked on the bottom of the sole for a cryptic ghost message, written in pig’s blood. Nothing.

I examined the cloth for any ghost clues… and there it was. The label on my slipper sent chills down my spine. “Easy Spirit.” I $h*t you not.

“Ok, I’m outta here,” my inner voice proclaimed.

I grabbed my jacket and purse (but not my ravioli… dang) and ran for the hills… or bus stop.

Daddy Dan:

My favorite Halloween story is the time I went trick or treating with my best friend.  We were about 7 or 8.  While we were gone, my Dad dressed up in the clothes of the scarecrow that was sitting on our porch.  When we came back from trick or treating, my Dad scared the crap out of us by jumping up.  He chased my friend for a good two blocks before he finally stopped.  My friend peed his pants, and he still hasn’t lived it down.

Oct
26
2008
3

Inadvertantly Inappropriate Photos v1

From Disneyland on Saturday…..

Oct
22
2008
5

Wednesday Spotlight: Great Blog Posts From Around the Internet (Version 10)

The best blog posts (I’ve seen) over the past week:

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