Before I get to the point, I just want to stress how lucky we’ve been with The Babito. He’s not a fussy eater, he’s an excellent sleeper (usually in bed by 8:00 and always sleeps throughout the night), and has been very good at doing what we ask him to do.
But lately he’s begun to test us. He’ll do things he knows he’s not supposed to do, like stand up and walk on the couch, get on the fireplace, throw things, etc. When we tell him to stop he ignores us until either: (1) he can tell we really mean business; or (2) he ends up in ‘time-out.’
I know this is a normal phase that toddlers go through, but it really is irritating.
The advice I’m asking for is this: How did you handle the ‘testing’ phase? What worked and didn’t work? And most importantly, for two impatient parents, HOW LONG DOES IT LAST???
Save us.
6 responses so far ↓
1 jason // May 5, 2008 at 10:49 am
Welcome to our club. Our son was an angel until just before the age of two. He now does all that you mentioned and much, much more. Time outs are frequent at our house. Although, he’s beginning to scoff at them. It’s exhausting and I hear it lasts for quite a while…well into the threes. I guess we just have to man up and take it. Count to ten, etc….
2 NickBlogger // May 5, 2008 at 2:52 pm
First, your last question. It lasts about 25 years, and it is only the beginning. He is mapping out his boundaries and your rules. Therefore, define them wisely. Pick your battles wisely as well, but once picked….stand firm. Do not negotiate with a toddler……EVER. In 12 to 15 years you will have to negotiate with him, do not start now. The most important tip is this: Stay consistent. If an activity he is performing is something you do not want him to do is not okay now, them it can’t be okay tomorrow as well. The payoff is this: As a teenager he will know what is acceptable, accepted and pleasing to you…..but, of course, the stakes are even higher at that point, so don’t be afraid to get it right now.
3 Debbie // May 6, 2008 at 6:38 am
Will I depress you if I say I’m looking for the same advice for my almost-five-year-old that has been this way for a while? Ours seems to hit at three, and with my son about to turn three next month, I’m cherishing every moment of his sweet, innocent “babyness.”
I wish I had advice, but all I know is set the boundaries and stick with them. It’s their job to test them (don’t we all test boundaries?), but they have to learn how far they can go.
Good luck!
4 Jamie // May 7, 2008 at 8:13 am
No advice here, just a we’re going thru the same thing. It seemed like once Audrey hit about 21 months or so, she was constantly testing her limits.
Crayons on the wall, throwing cars in the toilet, standing on the couch, etc.
Sometimes we’ll try the time-out approach, but haven’t had much success, so usually it’s just a firm NO and removing her from the situation. Probably too lenient, but this age is HARD.
5 becky // May 7, 2008 at 9:10 am
hah hannah’s 5 and STILL testing us. and we’ve yet to find a solid way to actually fix the problem. i think they always will do it. it usually ends up with us telling her to stop and then she gets sent to her room or goes to bed w/o a movie or something. i can barely remember when she was babito’s age though and how we handled it….good luck though. i feel your pain!
6 Daddy Dan // May 7, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Yikes! Thanks for all of the warnings everyone! (I guess) It’s nice to at least know that we’re all in the same boat, right?
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