The Babito is almost always still asleep when I leave for work in the morning. Today I left a little later than usual because I was driving in instead of taking the train (because there’s a certain holiday on Sunday that I’m not yet prepared for.).
Anyway, he must have heard me talking to my wife, because he woke up and started calling for me to come in his room. I was about to leave and didn’t want to go in his room because I’d only get to see him for a minute before I had to go, and I thought it would upset him when I had to leave.
My wife encouraged me to go see him for a minute, so I reluctantly went in his room.
“No work today, Daddy?”
“No, Daddy has to go to work.”
He asked me if I would play trains with him when I got home from work, and I said “Yes, I would love to play trains with you when I get home.”
I told him that I had to leave for work and he said that he wanted to go downstairs and say goodbye to me. My wife was in our room getting ready for work, so I said no, you can say goodbye to me here. He insisted that he wanted to go downstairs. I was about to say no again when my wife walked in and said “It’s ok, we can go downstairs and say goodbye to Daddy.”
We went downstairs and I gave him a kiss goodbye and said “Have a nice day!”
Babito said “Have a nice day at work, Daddy!”
As I backed out of our driveway I looked over to our front window. Babito was standing on the couch watching me leave and waving to me. I waved back. Even though it was 6:30 in the morning, I honked my horn, because he loves that. I’m sure the neighbors didn’t, but that’s ok.
I’d been promising to play trains with him for the past few days but haven’t because I’ve been getting home right around the time I usually start him on his long bedtime routine of bathing and book reading. Last night he cried when I told him it was time to go upstairs for his bath because he wanted to play trains first. I said no and took him upstairs. I should have played trains with him, if only for a few minutes. But I didn’t. And I should have.
I think because he cried about it I decided not to “reward” him with playing trains. Of course none of us want to encourage crying and tantrums by giving in to them. He is going through a stage right now where he occasionally throws a mini-tantrum if he doesn’t get his way. Not always, and not too bad, but we don’t want the tantrums to escalate. It’s reasonable, right?
Thinking about it this morning, I realized that I’ve been promising to play trains and I haven’t lived up to my promise. Sometimes little kids have valid reasons for crying because maybe it’s just their way of showing disappointment for unmet promises.
I also realized that my wife gave him two special little gifts by making me go say Hi to him and by taking him downstairs to wave goodbye to me out the window. I realized that I received two special gifts at the same time. I realized that we shouldn’t be so strict with routines and schedules and the tempers of a 2 1/2 year old.
Shortly after I got to work, I received an e-mail from my wife saying “Babito was so happy he got to see you this morning. He’s been in such a great mood. It made his day!”
No, it made mine, and I can’t wait to play trains tonight, no matter what time I get home.
Tags: Babito, Love, Parenting, schedules, Thomas, trains
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#1 by Andrea on May 7th, 2009
This is so sweet! It sounds like you’re really figuring out this parenting thing.
Andreas last blog post..The One With The Average Weekend
#2 by Debbie on May 8th, 2009
Oh Dan you hit me in the heart! This is my story…however, mine involves stuff around the house, or grocery shopping, or making dinner. All things that I feel “need” to be done, and yet really, who cares if we have frozen pot pies for dinner? Every day I come home vowing to play more with the kids, and yet something always comes up. Is this what will lead my kids to not believing me or trusting me? I keep saying I’ll do something and don’t follow through? Thanks for the inspiration…tonight I will “play trains” as well (or hockey as will be the case for me).
Debbies last blog post..Little Ry-Ry…
#3 by badassdad05 on May 8th, 2009
I feel you, brother (as they say. whoever they are).
I have to constantly remind myself how important the little things are to the little guys in my life. Playing with them, giving them some focused time and attention. It’s not always the thing I really want to do, but I’m never sorry I did it.
Keep up the good work, sir.
badassdad05s last blog post..will walk for shoes
#4 by Kimberly on May 22nd, 2009
Aww..what a sweet but sad story.
Remember that Babito is only going to be this age once. The bath time routine will be there in 10 minutes..or tomorrow. Take the time and enjoy the time he wants to play with you. You never know what today holds, or if seeing him in the window waving good bye is the last memory either of you will have of the other. One day, way to soon, he will be asking to be dropped off around the corner so his friends don’t see him with you..or asking for the car keys and being gone all day.
Kimberlys last blog post..Spring 2009 Grades are IN!!