I think everyone has some kind of ritual about bedtime. Some people like to watch a little TV in bed, some people like to read a book, some may like to cuddle with their spouse, dog, or cat, and some people take a bath or shower just before hitting the sack. Some people want the bedroom to be pitch black dark, and some may still need a nightlight.
Everyone has a ritual.
Babito’s ritual has been to take a bath, read a few books, say his prayers, and then get his baby (a rabbit), his blankie, and his binkie before Daddy lays him down to sleep.
Until Tuesday night.
We decided that it was time for the binkie to go away. And we did it cold turkey.
It was actually the new day care provider’s idea. She didn’t give him a binkie when he took a nap on Tuesday. Since none of the other little kids use a binkie, he was fine with it (he wanted to be cool on his first day, there’s chicks to impress).
So now the duty fell to me on Tuesday night to deprive him of his precious binkie. I went through the entire routine, put him in bed with his baby and binkie, kissed him good night. Everything was going perfectly! I couldn’t believe we weaned him so quickly, and it was painless.
I started to walk out of his bedroom.”Daddy, Binkie,” he said very calmly.”
No Babito, you’re a big boy now, you don’t need a binky.
“There was a moment of complete silence as we looked into each other’s eyes. He must be rationalizing things in his mind, I thought. He’s probably thinking ‘Daddy’s right, I’m a big boy. No more binkie for me.’
The moment of silence ended abruptly with a blood-curling wail.”Binkie, Binkie, Binkie, Daddy!!! Biiiiiiiinkie!”
“No Baby, no more binkie. You don’t need a binkie any more.”
Although I didn’t think it was possible, he turned the volume up two or three additional notches. I tried to comfort him in the silly ways parents do. I told him to be quiet because he was going to wake up his babies, I rubbed his back, I tried to get him to sing a song with me, tried to go downstairs and get him his damn binkie (until my wife stopped me). Nothing worked.
I reluctantly left the room and went downstairs, baby monitor in tow, and listened to him moan for his binkie like he was going through some intense trauma. I think he was. After about 15 minutes of bawling and 30 more minutes of singing to soothe himself, he finally fell asleep.
As I put him to bed on Wednesday night he never asked for his binkie. I was so proud.
On Thursday night he did ask for it. I told him that we don’t have any binkies. He began to cry, but at a much lower decibel than Tuesday night. He only cried for about 5 minutes this time, so he’s making progress.
It’s hard to take away a bedtime ritual. Try it yourself tonight and see how long it takes you to fall asleep. It’s hard, I know.
My ritual is watching a little TV in bed. My wife hates it because, without fail, I fall asleep with the TV on. Usually the TV’s tuned to ESPN, so my wife is constantly waking up to the endless replays of Sports Center. She is very well-informed on the world of sports now, although she doesn’t appreciate it. The night of Barack Obama’s big speech, I fell asleep with CNN on. The next day she told me all she heard all night was ‘Obama, Obama, Obama.’ I felt bad.
She’s weaning me off bedtime TV, and I’m making some good progress, if I don’t say so myself. Last night I only cried for about 20 minutes when she wouldn’t give me my remote.
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#1 by Nanette on September 4th, 2008
Awww, like father, like son! Very cute!
Nanettes last blog post..Bump Watch 2008, 33 weeks, 4 days
#2 by Debbie on September 5th, 2008
Your story brought back memories of when we took my son’s away. He had just turned two as well and did a lot better than I thought he would. I’m glad your son was able to give it up easily…and props to the new caregiver for her help!
Debbies last blog post..It’s Not Just About ME…
#3 by maggie, dammit on September 5th, 2008
Ha! You have to give up your binky too, huh? Man, I hate leading by example. It’s the hardest part of parenting.
maggie, dammits last blog post..Bats all up in my belfry: Twitter, the expanded edition
#4 by California Girl on September 5th, 2008
LOL, that is too funny. My husband is the same way with the sports and TV. Except I’ve probably totally trained him NOT to fall asleep with the TV on. If it wakes me out of my slumber I will not be a happy camper. He knows this by now.
I’m happy you got your little son to give up his binkie. Oh, the challenges parents face. I can’t wait
California Girls last blog post..Do people understand what they are saying?
#5 by k on September 5th, 2008
I remember so well the day my son gave up his bottle (he never used a binkie) We had gone camping, and when we were getting ready to leave, he asked for a Coke. I told him if he would throw his bottle away, he could have one. So, he toddled over to the trash can and threw it away. He was not quite 2 years old.
ks last blog post..Creamed Corn with Red Peppers
#6 by Jim on September 5th, 2008
Ouch, I’m feeling your pain on this one. It’s hard to do this to your kids. My son had a blankie he carried around. I was glad to see it go, but it was rough all the same.
Jims last blog post..College Etiquette for Students
#7 by VegasDad on September 5th, 2008
You took a stand and you didn’t cave. That’s key. He’ll be over it before you know it. As for the television, we have a rule against having a television in the bedroom. The room is only for two things. One of them is sleep.
VegasDads last blog post..he walked, he inspired
#8 by Sandy (Momisodes) on September 6th, 2008
Oh man. I SO remember the binky wean! That was a huge milestone for us. We told Babisodes we left it in Florida when we visited grandma and grandpa, and they were keeping it for her. Although she was sad, it worked like a charm
So glad to hear Babito is handling it like a champ! Now the TV ritual? I’m guilty of that too
Sandy (Momisodes)s last blog post..PH: Strings
#9 by Daddy Dan on September 9th, 2008
Nanette: Thanks, Nanette!
Debbie: He’s doing well with it. He’s asked for it every night, but doesn’t cry when I tell him Binky went bye bye. =)
Maggie: It is an inconvenient thing, isn’t it?
California Girl: There’s challenges around every corner as a parent. One after the other. Your husband is smarter than me. I keep leaving the tv on and haven’t been properly trained yet!
k: Wow, cute story, k!
Jim: It was hard. I really wanted to give him his binkie back but my wife wisely stopped me.
VegasDad: But what do you do after the second thing?
Sandy: That’s a good idea, but then he’d be asking them for it when we went to visit. We just told him it went bye bye and he seems to buy that story!